Saturday, May 11, 2013

What if I can't?

"God, what if I can't?"

I feel like this is a question I ask quite often. I'll find myself facing a particularly arduous task or a difficult day or just the prospect of getting out of bed, and out it pops. I really sat back and took notice of this query today, and I noticed a few things I thought I'd write down.

1. This question assumes God desires for me to go somewhere, do something, or be generally active in my day. Though I may feel like I cannot do whatever the task or thing is in front of me, it assumes that my response to God is not stagnant, but a call to action or engagement with my surroundings.

2. This question shows me that one of my greatest fears is the inability to do what is asked of me. I don't know if anyone else out there is like that or not, but it hits me that "can't" is very different from "won't" or "don't." For me, to "can't" is to fail, to be weak, to be less than acceptable.

3. Despite the consistency with which I ask this question, the answer is constant. It is the panacea to my fear, the balm to my broken admittance that I'm just not capable. God says, "I Can." I Can in you, I Can through you, I Can with you. 

Whatever questions we ask, whatever internal roadblocks would make stagnant waters look better than flowing rivers of life, may we remember that God--who always is when we are not and always can when we cannot--offers the answer to our questions in God's very presence.  It is not an answer we earn or an answer which is withheld from all but the privileged few.  It is an answer freely offered and generously given to all places, all peoples, all walks of life. As our hidden places whisper of our inadequacy, may we know ourselves to be God's precious children in our very dependence on the "Can-ness" of God.