Saturday is over! HALLELUJAH!!!! Today we had the first of 2 weddings that Justin is officiating this summer. The next one will be in 2 weeks. Thankfully, the walkie talkies worked fabulously and everything in the ceremony went very smoothly. It was such a special day for the couple and you can tell how sincere and genuine they are about their love for God and each other.
I will say, though, that the ceremony and the reception, especially, really made me think about some things. Justin and I have been married 2 years. Our wedding day was a beautiful and special day to both of us. But the romance and excitement you feel on your wedding day does not last forever, as much as you want to. As I watched this couple spend their first few hours as husband and wife, I found myself feeling a little melancholy...or maybe a better word would be nostalgic or bittersweet. It has been a long time, or at least it feels like a long time, since I felt those romantic feelings for my husband. Don't get me wrong--I love my husband more than anything except Christ--but that love has changed and morphed in the last two years. It's more stable, but I would say it's also less emotionally fervent. I'm not overwhelmed with emotion every time I see Justin. I don't gush about him to all my friends. I fight with him. I, not intentionally, hurt with my words because we are two humans that don't always get along. So, here I am at this wedding both missing that overwhelming romantic feeling I used to have with my husband while also wondering if where I am with him and my marriage right now is ok? Is it ok to not be overwhelmed with feeling every time you see your husband? I'm so afraid I'm becoming hardened by the things we deal with. Is it cynical to watch a newly married couple and think "enjoy this because life will catch up with you soon" or is it just the voice of experience? So many questions, so many transitions in life...what am I transitioning into?
I've been married for about 4 months. I can't say that James and I live in gushy marital bliss. I've been there too -- saying things that hurt, confuse, and disappoint my husband, sometimes intentionally, most of the time unintentionally. Marriage changes things. Just today, James came home 10 minutes after heading to Petersburg so that he could take my car. It's stressful to have to deal with those things in marriage. It does not detract from love for him, but it builds a solid foundation for a good relationship. I find it hard to say you're cynical or hardened when you advise your newly married friends to enjoy that time of life. You have that experience that tells you that feelings will change.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about this last night also. We were watching House and one of the characters had just gotten engaged and was talking about the excitement of planning a wedding and getting married. A girl in the neighborhood got married yesterday, and I saw her and her new husband driving away in their shoe-polished car. There is a lot of excitement that comes with an engagement and upcoming/new marriage, but eventually that, as you know it, will come to an end.
I miss that time -- being excited to see James, feeling special when we were together. Things are so routine now. It's different, but it's building stability.
I know how you're feeling -- I understand here you are. It's okay. :)
I know exactly what you mean. The 'honeymoon is over' so to speak. Love is more than just feelings, it's a choice, it's an action. Keith and I just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary and we love each other more than ever though those 'romantic feelings' aren't always there.
ReplyDeleteJust because you marry the right person, doesn't mean your marriage will be perfect. We still have to deal with this thing called life. It will test your marriage every day.
Don't lose heart. You are a voice of experience now. Those romantic feelings have changed into a love that is more mature and lasting.