No, my husband has not become a transvestite, nor do I think I would ever be ok with that. BUT last night Justin and I were watching a video of a show put on by Eddie Izzard from 1994, and Eddie Izzard is a self-proclaimed transvestite. Now he has a huge following, and people have become more comfortable with he calls the "executive transvestite" look. But back in the 90's, the reception for "blokes in a dress" was not so friendly. As we were watching him do a bit on being a transvestite and all that comes with that, I stopped it at one point, turned to Justin and said, "So, how much of this are you legitimately relating to right now?" and he said, "A LOT!" So, I've decided to make a list of all the things that being a couple with one person in a wheelchair (we'll call them wheelchair couples) and being a transvestite have in common.
1. All the weird looks. Believe it or not, a man walking down the street wearing a dress gets very strange looks. Similarly, being a wheelchair couple, you get strange looks, too, and you know that as you kiss in public, people are thinking "Isn't she hurting that poor kid in the wheelchair?!"
2. The need to stand tall and confident in your status, lest you fall down. Transvestites have to stand tall and walk confidently lest they trip over those heels they're wearing. As the walking person in a wheelchair couple, I have to stand tall and walk confidently lest I get my toes run over by a powerchair.
3. Being seen as a novelty. Eddie Izzard has made millions being a funny guy who dresses like a woman--thus, he is a novelty. Justin and I are sometimes seen, especially by those who don't really know us, as this amazing example of what love can do and isn't it just so special that Justin is so successful despite his disability. I'm not at all saying that some of this isn't true, but I'd prefer it these semi-acquaintances didn't always feel the need to point it out.
4. The things people say in response to you. As Izzard puts it, transvestites have people all the time going up to them and saying (like they didn't know), "Hey! You're a bloke in a dress!!" As part of a wheelchair couple, I've had people ask me if Justin is able to have sex. Yeah...
5. And finally, doing your best to put aside all fears to face the fact that society sees you as odd. In fact, trying your best to embrace the oddity!!! Eddie talked about how in facing his fears and owning up to who he is, he's actually been able to look those who make fun of him in the face and say, "Why yes! I am a transvestite!" Well, I think that's where I'm headed--to where I can say, "Why yes! I am the ambulatory half of a wheelchair couple! So what's it to ya?"
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